Why You Might Be Overwhelmed: A Performance Coach's Perspective

Overwhelm. We all suffer from it on occasion, and you may even be experiencing a sense of overwhelm as you read this.

Feelings of overwhelm often arise unexpectedly and very suddenly, preventing us from taking corrective action. Once we become aware of this sense of overwhelm and the impact it has on our ability to act, our feelings can develop into broader frustration, as we notice our inability to act on the very things driving the overwhelm in the first place. The overwhelm trap can be particularly vicious and difficult to escape in this regard.

You might feel like you're stuck on a malfunctioning merry-go-round, swinging out of control with the stop button out of action. As you turn, you are reminded at different glances of all the jobs, responsibilities and incomplete actions you are yet to get on top of. You barely touch one task before the next is flung at you as the cart spins round, over and over. Your attention is constantly pulled from one thing to another. It is no wonder this sensation might leave you feeling unwell.

Below I explore three different levels of overwhelm. The purpose is to highlight the nuance of overwhelm and how it can be experienced differently, unique to your situation.

1) Attentional Fragmentation (Surface Level)

Endlessly switching from one task to another creates mental fatigue. Every micro switch uses mental load, which saps your finite mental energy. You might get away with this for a while, and the effects at first may be imperceptible, but over time the cumulative impact of working and living this way builds in the background, before eventually knocking you for six or leaving you with symptoms of burnout.

It's like physical training. You might feel fine for a while, but the hidden fatigue builds until it hits like a tidal wave, leaving you exhausted or even injured.

Being busy might feel productive, especially with limited time, but it is a recipe for disaster over the longer term without intentional actions that allow your nervous system and mind to rest and recover.

We know how important sleep is to physical recovery and sporting performance. It is no different with our minds and our performance at work, or in life more broadly.

If we live in constant automatic "do" mode, reacting to whatever feels urgent, we neglect the thinking time needed for the most important matters in our lives. "Deep work" is often the term used for when we do our most concentrated and powerful work. David Marquet, in his book Leadership Is Language, refers to red time and blue time.

Red is doing time; blue is thinking time. Whether you're shaping business strategy or leading your people, time spent in the blue zone will be paramount.

These are clearly important matters, and they require dedicated time and the right environment for impactful thinking to occur. Consider how much time you spend in blue and red mode. You could even colour your diary accordingly. The approach can reveal how you spend your time (often subconsciously), and where an intentionally different approach might serve you better.

Writing this piece now, I am sat with my headphones in, phone away, just writing what comes to mind. I wasn't thinking about this an hour ago, but now deep work is occurring. On reflection, I am probably in the area where the red and blue zones overlap: thinking deeply, but taking action by writing.

2) Cognitive Load Saturation (Realistic Expectations)

If you feel overloaded with jobs and responsibilities, this example might serve you well.

Imagine there are ten cups in front of you, representing critical areas of your life: your career, your family, your friends and so on.

If we liken your time and energy to water, these cups can't all be full to the brim, as you currently only have five cups' worth of water to give.

• Do you half fill all ten, and accept the mediocrity of five out of ten across every area?
• Do you fill five and leave the other five, and deal with the neglect of the rest?

In this scenario you are forced to choose how you allocate your time and energy. A helpful framework is to consider the urgency versus the importance of each matter. If it is urgent and important, tackle it first.

Nevertheless, this process requires you to have the mental capacity to actually think in the first place. If you have no water left, you'll have no capacity to do the necessary thinking and apportioning.

The old adage of learning to say "no" can be an effective tool here. What can you remove from your plate to reallocate that precious time and energy? Be selective with what, and who, you commit to.

Most importantly, don't forget that you have your very own cup that needs filling too.

3) Prediction Error Anxiety (Root Cause)

Feelings of overwhelm can be caused or amplified by procrastination. If procrastination often occurs because we are avoiding something, then the root cause of your overwhelm might be the very thing you are ignoring, consciously or subconsciously.

Indeed, something may well have popped into your mind as you read that last paragraph. If it did, take a minute now to write it down.

Identifying what is occupying mental space but being avoided is the first step. Writing it down on a piece of paper is the second.

We often avoid things because we dislike uncertainty: of outcome, of response, of impact, of realisation. You may be someone who plays out future scenarios in an attempt to ready yourself for whatever occurs. Whilst this may feel helpful, it saps precious mental energy, taking away from the other cups you may still wish to fill.

If you consider your energy a precious resource, can you really afford to spend three cups merely playing out imaginary scenarios in your head? You may play out so many that you are left physically and mentally drained, unable to act on anything else.

Are the perceived benefits of this mental rehearsal really worthwhile?

If you are so overwhelmed by something, maybe the best approach is to consider opting out entirely. Expectations or goals you place on yourself may be burdening you and affecting other areas of your life more than you think. Ask yourself: is the goal really worth it, and am I seriously prepared to commit to it?

Being stuck in limbo is self-inflicted torture. Either do the thing or let it go, and be grateful for the peace this brings.

Having It All Together (The Myth)

There is an unspoken expectation that one day we'll have it all together and everything will be in order. This is a mirage. Nothing will ever be as harmoniously in order as we imagine. We will always have problems, obligations and stressors.

Once we understand and accept this, we can operate within the realities of life and take intentional steps that better align with our intrinsic desires and motivations.

If your work is intense but you are fulfilled by your mission, then in principle this is a good problem to have. The stress comes with a positive element, attached to purpose and meaning.

If you are stressed because you are underpaid and have a horrible boss, the stress this causes is clearly not a good problem to have. There is minimal benefit to be gleaned, beyond lessons in how not to behave.

Assess the matters that bother you and try to find the positive. If there isn't one, or it isn't a strong one, that could be an area to take action on.

How Coaching Helps Clients Regain Clarity

Coaching creates the space for deeper thinking. Something powerful happens when we articulate matters we have carried internally for some time. Bringing them into the open provides a sense of clarity that is hard to describe until you have experienced it. For me, the process of confronting our realities, both facts and feelings, is the most valuable benefit coaching offers.

In our modern world, we rarely have the opportunity to talk in depth with another person (and I would argue especially so amongst men). Coaching is a process of exploration, and sometimes just going there is enough for clients to reach the insights that prompt the actions required.

Talking also allows us to appreciate different perspectives. We are all shaped by our experiences, knowledge and inner circles, and our thinking is inevitably coloured over the years by the cognitive biases that make us human. This is not a bad thing in itself, but being aware of it and acting accordingly is a different matter.

Working with a coach may reveal things about you that you do not currently see. It may shine a light on your beliefs, assumptions, patterns of thinking, emotional responses, rationalisations, triggers and behaviours.

These are all the things that make us beautifully human. They are also the most challenging aspects of being human, and we must consciously curate our minds to stay effective and kind.